Life in Saudi Arabia Part 3

WATCH OUT!!!!

I am following a few blogs these days and I’m always amazed at how funny my friends and family are when describing the oddities of their daily lives. I walk out my door every morning and wish for the same sort of high adventure: Novacaine, amazing home stories, moving, etc. Life provides some hilarious episodes and we only have to step out of our bodies for a minute to see them.


Here in Saudi Arabia, those situations tend to be more difficult to capture, not because they don’t exist, but because they are happening at hyper speed. Driving is the best example of this reality. So this is my first tribute-blog to the men and streets who make the dream of adventure come alive here in Saudi Arabia.

First, the rules of the road:

1. Do not endanger other people with your driving style.

That’s it...honestly.  More than one person have told me that this is the Golden Rule. Follow this rule and you won't get pulled over by the police.  OK, there are obvious traffic laws, but they all pretty much fall under THE rule of the road listed above. Basic traffic laws would consist of:

1. Don’t drive on the wrong side of the road.

2. Red lights mean stop, Green lights mean go.

3. Don’t exceed the speed limit posted.

4. Stop at signs that say STOP.

5. Wear your seatbelts.

6. No talking on the phone while driving.

7. Park in designated areas.

All sounds pretty simple until you actually climb into Blue Lightning and make your first go of driving.  Here's my stallion in this Thunderdome adventure.  A very blue Toyota Camry.

Once actually underway, the basic traffic laws start to unveil their true nature:

1. Don’t drive on the wrong side of the road – Unless you have to get somewhere easily attainable and no cars are coming from the opposite direction…at least not too closely on the horizon.  If it’s possible, make a quick stab at the parking spot from the wrong side so you don’t have to u-turn further up the road.  After all, less driving means less chance of an accident right?

2. Red lights mean stop, Green lights mean go – Well, red lights only mean stop when you’re heading straight. If you’re making a right turn, it actually means accelerate, pedestrians beware. If a light is red and you’re exceeding the speed limit (see rule #3 below) by at least 30 km/hr then better to accelerate even more to make sure you only miss the green light by 4-5 seconds instead of 10 seconds.

3. Don’t exceed the speed limit posted – This is actually just a suggestion. It’s highly recommended that you try and race everyone around you. There are awards for the fastest driver to nowhere and slowest driver ever, with the all time record being sub 10 km/hr on a freeway onramp.

4. Stop at signs that say STOP – Well only if you have to. If stopping means you’ll miss a break in the traffic to cross an intersection, better to coast through it. If a 4-way stop is encountered, the game of Chicken is automatically instituted.

5. Wear your seatbelts – Only if the PINGING sound in the car gets too annoying to stand. Otherwise, do what feels comfortable.

6. No talking on the phone while driving – That’s absurd. Nobody can find out where they’re going if they aren’t on the phone getting directions. Call as you will, but try and keep at least one hand on the steering wheel in case #1, #2, or #4 occur around you.

7. Park in designated areas – Well you just don’t want your car to get hit as a result of #1, #2, #4, or #6. Park where you can avoid any damage.

As I drive around these days, thinking about friends and family blog-moments I read about every day, I am saddened as one situation after another passes me by knowingly; see I can’t snap photos fast enough to capture the madness, and trust me, without a photo 99.9% of the planet is not going to believe the stories I tell. That doesn’t mean that I’ve failed in my efforts to pass a slice of Saudi driving back to friends and family though. Take heart followers, a basket of pictures awaits you.

First of all, the parking situation; I took this photo while heading to my car after work. See, in the morning I passed right by that car, almost sharing some paint because it was sticking out in the road so far. It might not look like much, but when the left turn is blind because of a big truck, having a car half in the road when you make the turn is a BIG SURPRISE! Just a note: This picture was snapped 2 weeks ago and that car is still sitting like that. Permanent parking spot I think.

Along the same lines, in front of me yesterday was this car. A couple of bothersome issues here: First of all, this car is probably 3 feet from the curb…at least.  I think he wanted to keep his car out of the sand so it wouldn’t get dirty. It’s not like sand is blowing all around us, all the time, right? This car isn’t parked sideways, partly in the road, like our runner-up in the previous example. Nope, this car is completely in the road. Second, you’ll notice the sand build-up to the curb. That’s what we call a natural driveway here in Saudi Arabia. The lot to the right is a parking area for cars, so most drivers try to keep the sand area open so cars can drive in and out of the lot without scraping the bottom of their car on the curb. Our Parking Champion however just decided to block the whole entrance. He’s the winner in my parking area for sure.

So let’s hit the road a little bit. The vast majority of streets feel like the log ride at an amusement park. There’s just that feeling that you can’t get outside of the track or you’ll bang into something. Most of the streets are one-way, like this one. There is not a sign telling you that; just the large truck coming at you when you make the turn. So if you don’t hit a car or person, because people are always wandering around in the lesser streets, you still need to make sure you’re going in the right direction. About people, you’ll notice about halfway down the street, on the right, is a mosque. After prayer time this street will have people everywhere, so best to avoid those busy moments and stay on the main roads if possible.

Exiting the freeway last week I noticed a taxi cab in front of me that looked like the rolling version of the challenge “How Many People Can You Fit In A Phone Booth.” It may be tough to count here, but there had to have been at least 4-5 people in the backseat and maybe another 1-2 in the front seat, driver excluded of course. I’m sure they were all wearing their seatbelts.

Still heading home I encountered another wonderful challenge: A lane that just ends so cars can merge into traffic. Take a look at the lane line on the road. “Well let’s just curve the line here and make this a shoulder! That way people exiting their offices can turn right, gain speed, and get into traffic…” Uh huh…and what about all the people going 50 mph when this lane ends? Oh, just honk and people will get out of the way. You’ll notice that the cars in this photo seem to be starting-in on their Drive Dance right when this picture was taken. The car on the right is truly driving about 15 mph while the car on the left is probably going 45mph. Everyone knows what is happening here, but the principle is incredible.

Finally I’m almost home. This is the side street that heads down to my complex. You’ll notice the large security door opening in the distance. This is the exit door for the larger portion of my complex. My home is to the right. Before I get to my security gate though, I get to zig zag down this street. You’ll notice the cement barriers. We get to veer side to side as we dodge each other down this road. The good thing is that everyone is driving very slowly for once. I actually took this picture from a stop.  Another quick note: That little white enclosure to the left of the security door is a military post.  An M-50 is propped up facing the road just in case someone tries to catapult their car over the wall like Lee Majors in the Fall Guy.

Finally it is home sweet home. My complex security door opens and I breathe a sigh of relief - another safe drive home. More from Mad Max in the weeks to come.  You can probably appreciate at this point that this photo was taken from my camera, not my phone...the glory of the color isn't just more pleasing to view, it represents the hallelujiah of all light when arriving home safely!

More to come in Saudi Arabia everyone...a call for water sports has been made!